10 Things I Like About Me

 Things I like about me…

Years ago I wrote a blog post, of things I like about me. I don’t know what it says, but I thought it would be fun to write it again, and then maybe compare it. 

1. I like that I love people. I love them even when they don’t love themselves. I like that I see beauty in people where they may not always see it. 

2. I like that I like people. I couldn’t always say this haha. I didn’t always let myself like people. I was too afraid of being hurt, didn’t trust, and didn’t allow myself to engage to see past that all the time. Now, I find people to be cute, funny, even comical, sweet, loving, adorable, and yeah sometimes annoying too lol. But I see people and like them in a way I didn’t always.  I may not want to be friends and besties with everyone, but I like them. They make me smile. 

3. I like that I know my value, my worth, and own it.  I like that I am secure in that, well resourced in it, and able to discriminate between the voices in my head telling me I’m not enough vs who I am. The voices get loud sometimes still… but at the end of the day, I know who I am. And that is a pretty cool place to be. 

4. I like that I am okay in my own skin. Yeah, sometimes I would cut apart the tummy that gets in the way, or life my boobs higher, or cut away some of the neck and chin. I’m not blind… but I also like the way I look. I’m not ashamed of me. I like my curves, my edges, my softness, and my strength. I feel beautiful in my body, just the way it is. 

5.  I like the edges, the sharp way I cut through bullshit, the edges that are still exploring new spaces, pushing the limits of who I be, and where I go.  I like the way that I have a sharpness that works, as well as a softness that lets things land and process in ways I didn’t know how before. 

6.  I like the way I see clearly, that after I let myself process and unpeel the layers, I have clarity, context, and grace for myself and others… and that doesn’t mean I need to put up with anything. 

7. I like the bitch that is me. I love that Gabsy helped me reframe this. I am not too much. I am not not enough, I am the perfect amount of me. I am spicy and spikey sometimes, and that’s okay too. It may not always serve the vision of what I’m up to, and I’m not wrong for when I feel that way either. 

8. I love the beauty that is me. The gem that shines through. The sister that loves deeply. The friend that has your back. The one that bends over backwards when I don’t need to. The laughter that says I love my life. The sweetness of my friendship. The walking heart that I am. 

9. I like the mother that I am. I am not perfect. I am definitely not the Pinterest mom. I have messed up, a lot. And… nobody loves bigger than me when it comes to my kids. I like that I am always learning, willing to look, willing to shift, and open to listen. If this were a list of things and people I love in my life, my kids would have been the first thing on the list. Learning to love me as a mother has taken more time. I first had to get past the judgement I had on myself as a mother and look at the judgement I carry on my own mom too.  I am not the mom that looks good all the time, but I am the mom who loves without end. 

10. I like the love I live in. I like that I no longer allow fear to be what dictates who I be. I love that I move from creation and what is working more often than not. I love that I am not stuck in a prison of my own mind, culture, or expectations. I love the freedom that living in love comes with. 

Accept it

 Just accept it. That’s what Arthur said, after he texted me again to remind me, celebrate me, acknowledge me, yet again. I did it. I get to bask in it. I get to let it soak into the crevices that are me. I haven’t let it in, not all the way. It felt surreal. I get to let it in. 

I am not my results, and I am not defined by my results.  And, based on results, I did a fucking amazing job of captaining, leading, and holding the line. I am not my results, and I am responsible for results. Results do not define me, and they do indicate who I’ve been being and what I’ve been doing.  And based on results… there is a lot to be proud of. 

I am. I am proud. I’m proud of my team, my coaching team, and of me. I’m proud of the learning, the elevation for myself. I’m proud of outpromoting the promotiest promoter, and of having Caramia tell me I was being promotier than her. “Transformation is real!” I am proud that I was acknowledged as being empowering, nurturing, loving, big-hearted. I am not proud that I wasn’t seen as joyous and joyful… and… I am okay with it. The way I was being worked. I get to own what worked, and what didn’t. And what worked is that I led a team of leaders. Popcorn leaders as they were, they all had a taste, an opportunity to see themselves in leadership.

Part of my vision in Captaining was to develop leaders. I feel like I did that. I feel like I brought leadership alive. It’s in baby steps. But it’s there. And they see it and feel it.  I see future captains on my team. Definitely the potential for them to be is most definitely there. And whether they choose it or not I get to continue to develop. 

I don’t know where this all lands or will go, but for right now, here is what I know. 

I know my worth. 

I know my value. 

I not only know it but own it. 

I know I can do hard things, and that they don’t have to be hard. 

I know I can do beautiful things, create beautiful things, and have FUN while I do it. 

I know I am loved, that I love, and that people feel my love. 

I know I am a leader others would follow, that others would aspire to be like, and that inspires leadership and ownership in others. 

I know that my tendency to problem solve and manage has a place, and that when I lead with vision, coach with vision, hold vision, and live in vision, it comes alive in others, and they self manage and self problem solve. 

I know that my leadership can be tender, healing, and fierce all at the same time. 

I know that others may be triggered by me. That the leader they are may not always appreciate who I am… and that’s okay. I can still hold them, see them, and hold them high, without needing to hide any part of me. 

I am valued, I matter, and I know it at a new level. I let it sink in at a new level. 

I am still human. I still hurt. I still breathe, and with every breath I still get to be responsible for who I’m being and what I’m creating. Truth is, I’m a powerful creator. 

I can hold love and hold my value. I can be soft and I can be fearless. I am love, and I am powerful. 

I am beyond capable, and I trust what I see and feel. It has merit, value, and worth. It is often accurate and even when it’s not, I am curious and open and I learn. 

I can be passion, joy, love, and light, and I may still have people around me be triggered. I may still have people want me to make them feel better, good, loved, celebrated, or whatever they are looking for. I am responsible for who I am being and what I am creating — and they get to be responsible for how they are feeling and their responses and reactions to it. 

And when I reach for lightness, I first get to let go of the heaviness I carry on my chest, to hold the power of responsibility without hanging onto the heaviness of it, the weight and worry and agony of it. 

I am responsible, I am willing to be responsible for it all, and part of the responsibility can even be responding when others are not happy with what I’ve created. I don’t need to change their experience to respond with shifting myself and who I am being or where I am standing. 

I create results, with passion, commitment, dedication, determination, joy, love, courage, integrity, letting go of my worthiness conversations, my enoughness conversations, and owning courageously and vulberably the power that I am, the love that I am, and the tenacity that I am. 

When I come from love, vision, power, joy, passion, and integrity … anything is possible, everything is possible…. Because I say so. 

I am love. I am me. I am loved. I am me. I am worth. I am me. I am light. I am me. The way I love matters, and I love and am loved deeply. 

This is me. 

LAS4 - 105 hearts enrolled. All but 3 chose life initially on lifeboat. Record breaking individual enrollments with Justin at 34 hearts enrolled. DOUBLE the original record. 

This is just the beginning.  I am a lighthouse. 

This is me.