Random Bits

Torn

When once I open up my heart and thrice it's ripped and torn
No wonder that I hide myself to keep it from the thorns.
And though I cannot say just how or why I try again
I seem to ask for punishment as blessings in the end.

Barbs

The bitter barbs I throw about
Eventually find their way
Although, I think I'm off the mark,
...they're landing on my face.

Anthems of the Heart

And though the notes swoon to and fro
And pierce my laden breast
How is it that you cannot hear
The anthems as they crest?

The Fool

The jesters hat I shun to wear
The crown of grace I plea...
And still when all is said and done
The fool I seem to be.
 

 

 

Holes

I had a realization today that is still settling in, still tossing and turning around in my head.

I could feel it before I could say it.

I realized that sometimes having holes in a heart allows it to stretch farther and wider than it ever could before. I was amazed really, when I stopped and considered how one heart can wrap around and reach so many places... so many people. And thankful.

And once I began to think about it, I was left with tears streaming down my face. Tears, because for all the holes my heart has, it is still worth something. And for all the pain I watch in others, there is still good that comes of it.

It is God's gift really, and it made me think that the holes in our Saviors hands and feet, and the wound in his side are just one one of the many ways he loves us, and heals us. It is a showing of the many gifts He gave us. Love. Repentance. Faith. Hope.

Who am I to be angry at the holes in my heart, when the Savior bore the suffering and pain of the world and everyone in it?

Something else occurred to me, too. I suddenly realized that because there are holes in my heart, they allow the pain to drain out. I could plug up the holes... but then I wouldn't be able to release the pain.

For once... I'm not angry that the holes are there, and the hurt isn't quite so great.

I am more able to forgive the ones who put so many of those holes there. I am more able to let go of the anger and rage at myself for not being complete, and perfectly without holes.

It feels good to let go.