Jonnie Cake

Sleep eludes me tonight. My heart is full.  A bit of joy, anguish, heartache, love, and missing Ryan all combined I guess. Eliza asked me where my blog went, and so I decided rather than lay there tossing and turning, I'd write it out, catch you up on my life lately, and some of the things that have been in my heart through the holidays.  It's either that, or an overdose of Benadryl to knock me out. I think this is the healthier way to medicate :)

But first, a cute story that I want to remember later.  Facebookers already heard about it... but here it is anyway. 

Earlier this evening, little Jonnie found a box of cake mix and asked me if he could "buy it."  I said yes, and a few minutes later he came back with a fork and tried to poke the box open.  That didn't work, so he trotted off to get a spoon.  No luck.

Next he came back with a butter knife, trying to stab it open.  Mean old Mom is watching him, laughing.  He hands everything to me, telling me to open it.  I tried stabbing the box and said "it won't work!" He finally decided the butterknife wasn't going to do the trick because a couple minutes later he comes back with a small sharp knife from the kitchen, takes the box from me, and starts stabbing the box top with it. When I asked him where he got it he said "at school."  Keep in mind the kid is barely two.

Ten minutes later, with Mom watching closely so that he didn't get hurt in the process, he succeeded in getting the flap open and the cake mix out.  Each movement sent a puff of cake mix all over my bedroom floor as it escaped from one of the many holes he had stabbed through the bag. He handed it to me, ran back to the kitchen, and brought me back a plate for his cake.

Off to the store we went to buy eggs so we could make a Jonnie Cake.  He's such a fun kid! Two years old with long-ish tousled hair.  He reminds me so much of my Dad sometimes.  Not sure why...

I think I'll post separately on a few things. Probably easier for me to process that way.

11:00 and All's Well!

Do you remember watching Disney's Robin Hood as a kid?  Ry's sister Barb bought it for our family when we were little and it never ceases to entertain me.  I don't know how many hundreds of times I have watched that and still love every bit of it.  Okay, so that has nothing to do with my post except for the part where the Nutsy is on guard duty and yells out "All's Well!"

Everything IS much better today.  I only got woken up three times last night by the kiddos, took another nap this morning, and another this afternoon. Sleep always helps.  And a nice conversation with my man helped too.

And I realized that it might be helpful for y'all to know really where I'm at. On a scale of 0-100, with 0 being no depression whatsoever and 100 being properly diagnosed as clinically depressed and in need of intervention.... I was at about 1,000 for 18 months after Jonnie was born and my anxiety levels were at 10,000.  Yesterday -- I was about 20. Today, I'm at a 1.  No big deal.

Today I laughed, I joked, I sang. Three songs in fact -  all with my kids. We played Boggle and listened to Carolina give her oral report on the Statue of Liberty for Family Night, after reading the prophet Joseph Smith's teachings on prayer. I played hide and seek with Jonnie and his blanket before bedtime, went shopping with Tali and Ty, and bought posterboard to make Daisy's student of the week poster with.

And,  I got a call back on an application and set up a job interview for tomorrow. Wish me luck, I might just get it.

Life is good.