As a child

My heart is filled with gratitude at the un-ending mercies and grace of God in Heaven above. When I get done being in emotional upheaval and just focus on what is good and right and remember the many prayers that have been prayed and sit in awe of the many prayers that have been answered, my heart swells and my eyes weep.

It's so easy to feel like there are so many things I can't fix right now, so many worries that I don't know how will ever turn out, and yet with one blink of an eye or motion of the hand HE can make everything work out. Too often, I forget. Too often, I rely on myself instead of on Him.

I am still His child and I'm not sure I ever want to grow up. I love His warm embrace when I run to Him. I still need His arms around me when I hurt. At His feet I kneel to pray. It is His loving face I always want to see when I look up after the tears, and He is there for me. It is eternal hope in Him that I trust and rely on. How can he be so gracious and kind, when I am just me? I can breathe when I feel the burdens lifted on my chest, after finally remembering who is in charge.

He is my Father. I am His child. I am blessed.

in my own little hole

Sometimes I just want to curl up in my own little hole, and stay there.  I know I should write it out instead, but I don't want to, so I'm not going to. Too much, too hard to articulate, so much to process. Maybe another day, but today, if you need me, I'll be in my hole.

White Day

If you've ever been to our house before and taken a tour through the basement, you know already that it wasn't pretty.  It has been beat up for nearly a century, rooms built, then torn apart, projects started, never finished, half the walls are covered in plaster, the other half have layers of peeling paint.  It's generally a mess!

When we moved in, I painted over the worst parts, but the big playroom downstairs was more than I knew what do to with or had money to fix up.  Well finally, we are ready to paint the walls and stain and seal the cement floor.  But first - we have to paint the ceiling.

I picked up a gallon of paint last week, and decided today is the day.  I'll get it done.  I park the boys in front of "Nemo", get Tyler doing his schoolwork, and Daisy follows me downstairs and begins to sing me all the "Color Songs" she's been learning in kindergarten.  She starts telling me that today is "White Day" and gets pretty excited when she realizes that I'm painting white paint on White Day.  "Yay!", I say.  "I love white too!" She walks out of the room and I'm painting away, looking straight up as I do since my pole is short and my ceilings are high.

Daisy Delicious Horsey Jessop - or at least that's what SHE says her name is!

10 seconds after she walks out of the room my paint pole snaps and the roller falls straight on my face.  And yes, my mouth was open.  I didn't know whether to laugh or cry so I was doing a little of both as she walked back in the room a minute later and sees me trying to spit the paint out of my mouth. 

"Mom?" she asks.

"Yes," I say. 

"Did you dip your face in the paint?"

"Nope," I reply. 

"Oh. Well you have white paint all over your face," she says. 

"Yes dear.  Thanks for letting me know."

Well, it is White Day. But I'm pretty sure I'd rather find another way to celebrate.

I'll post some pics of the basement when we're done :) 

Eliza and Eric

Peach Days

Eliza and Eric came down to visit this weekend. It is so much fun to hang out with my sister!!  She and Eric were kind enough to be my models. These were taken impromptu, they didn't expect to have their pictures taken until later, but I thought they both looked great and so I grabbed my camera and asked them to take a few minutes with me. The "Hurricane Peach Days" Parade had been held that morning, and some nice farmer with really cool trucks had taken the liberty of parking them in front of my house (fine with me!) We grabbed a few shots there before we went down the street to the Heritage Museum.  I'll post more pics of my beautiful sis after I get more edited... but here's a sneak peak.

Before they came down, I was busy making Butterscotch Peach Pie. Ry doesn't like a "regular" pie crust, and I'd been thinking about making a crisp, sweet oatmeal crust and adding caramel to the pie for a few days. After combining a few recipes and taste testing three pies, we liked this combination as the best result.  Warning -- best eaten fresh and hot with some Breyer's Natural Vanilla ice cream - or sweet cream whipped at home.

Enjoy!!

Oatmeal Cookie Crust
1 cup oats
1/3 cup flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/3 c. butter
1/2 tsp vanilla
2 Tbsp brown sugar
2 Tbsp white sugar

Butterscotch Filling
1/2 c. brown sugar
2 Tbsp flour
1/4 c. butter
2 tsp lemon juice
dash salt
1/4-1/2 tsp cinnamon
dash nutmeg
1/2 tsp vanilla

Directions:
Prepare the pie crust. Pack it in thick in a 8-9" pie pan and bake til slightly golden. (Approximately 400 degrees for 8 minutes?)  (If you'd like some extra oatmeal topping for the top of the pie - make an extra batch of oatmeal crust to sprinkle on top of the pie.)

While the crust is cooking, grab a saucepan. Combine all the ingredients for butterscotch filling except the vanilla and lemon juice. Continuously stir with a wooden spoon and cook until bubbly and all the sugar is dissolved. It may look a bit too thick - but never fear, add the lemon juice.  Dip a spoon in, let it cool a bit, and taste it -- then add the vanilla (optional). Does it need another sprinkle of salt to bring out the flavor? Cook until it's a rich caramel color and you can tell it's the consistency of a heavy syrup or thicker.  Pull off the heat and let it sit for a minute while you peel and slice the fresh peaches into your baked pie crust.

To assemble the pie, place the sliced peaches into the crust and pour the butterscotch all over the peaches, taking care to cover all areas. Your butterscotch and crust should still be hot, so no need to rebake the pie.  Enjoy it with ice cream or whipped cream on top!

Aches and heartaches

So I wake up in the middle of the night with a mean stomach-ache. I just want to sleep. I'm so tired I can't tell you how tired. I need my sleep. But no - I have a stomach-ache, and sleep is not easily coming.

This morning, I am finally sleeping, for a while at least. The little boys stayed home from church with me, so in between sleeping, I am also feeding Jonnie his Cheerios and milk. I finally drag myself out of bed when the bowl he brought me is emptied but I still don't feel like doing anything at all. Daisy has turned on "Cheaper By The Dozen" - the old version - which I love, so I put my contacts in and curl up on the couch to watch it with her.  I love the look on his face as he holds baby #12 and his wife looks over his shoulder down at the baby.  Such a precious picture of love.

When the movie is over I spy my computer. I feel like someone hit the back of my neck with a very big stick and my whole body feels swollen, but I can lounge on the couch with my laptop right?

Really, I feel awful, and want to do nothing but go back to bed. But as awful as I feel, I feel lucky too. My sweet friend Sheila told me yesterday that her daughter's husband is facing lymphoma. Cancer is such an ugly form of torture, and having the body aches is such a minimal thing to deal with when others face such life and death illness. I look at my husband sitting on the couch and think how blessed I am that he is healthy. And happy. This year has definitely had some major life changes for us both, but especially for him. He has struggled and it has been so heartwrenching to watch him.

And lets be honest. Sometimes I've just been super angry at him for the way he has dealt (or not dealt) with certain things.

But all of that doesn't matter when I see him crawl around the floor, laughing and chasing Jonnie.  Or when he wakes me up with a kiss to tell me goodbye before he leaves for work.  And the things I get upset about become completely insignificant and outright stupid when I think how it would be to face having him ill with cancer, and staring death in the face.

He's not. I'm grateful more than I can say. And my heart aches more than my body right now for my friend Camille and her family and the reality they face. So say a prayer for Camille and Ralph, and for their family.

I'm going to snuggle up on Ry's lap right now and enjoy the time I have with him.

BTW, the photos is from a day when he was being an impromptu model for me as I scoped out decent angles at a difficult location where I'll be shooting an upcoming wedding. He didn't realize I was taking a photo just at this moment though, and I liked it. SOOC without any editing, and horrible lighting, but it's a picture of him and I love it just for that.  He's so completely supportive no matter what hair-brained idea I come up with or new adventure I start out on. Thanks Babe!

Rachel

Stillness

Tuweap overlook of the Grand Canyon, photo by me, of course.

Fun fact for you - I'm afraid of heights. 

No, that's not true. 

I'm petrified of heights. Yes, I think that says it a little better.  

Have you ever driven on a mountain road when it's zig-zagging up the side of the mountain and one side is up against the side of the cliff and the other side is a sheer drop off and every time the wheels on the car spin they shoot a bit of gravel off the side of the road and you can watch it fall gently down the side of the mountain as though it hasn't a care in the world nor does it know that in a moment it will be pummeling into the earth below and as a result will probably no longer even be a rock but a bit of powder for the wind to blow away? (And yes I know that was a run on sentence but that's about how much goes through my brain every time the wheels on the van turn, so pretty please, bear with me.) It scares me to pieces and I really prefer that Ryan drive on these roads, when I am asleep, and never tell me we ever drove on that particular road in the first place. 

But I'm straying. Fear of heights is not what this is about today.... it's about our outing to the Grand Canyon, which thankfully did not entail a drive up a zig-zaggy cliff. 

So, lucky us - and I mean that - we had friends and family come visit us for the weekend and they took us on a drive out to Tuweap (or Toroweap as you sometimes see it spelled).  This particular view of the Grand Canyon is stunning, and totally worth the long-ish drive to get there.  The pictures I took really don't do it justice. 

Ryan and Jonnie, overlooking the Colorado River

So imagine this. Me - petrified of losing someone over the edge, and 15 kids -  7 of whom are mine, all running loose at the edge of a 3000 foot drop off. My idea of a fun time!

For the first 20 minutes, I panicked. A lot. And told myself to breathe. A lot.

Because otherwise I was a little bit out of my mind.

But after they got all their wiggles out from the car ride and got tired of looking over the cliff, they started running around inland. Then, I was finally able to enjoy it. 

The Grand Canyon is breathtaking, to say the least. I simply cannot wrap my brain around 

how this river cut so deep into the sandstone, and between the wind and rushing water, the canyon was 

formed.  It's incredible. 

It's also peaceful. And still.  That is probably what struck me most - the stillness.

After the kids all went back to the truck for lunch and I knew that Ryan had Jonnie, I had a few moments to just sit. And look. And as I sat on the ledge looking northward, I knew that somewhere down below branches were rustling in the wind and a bird was fluttering by. There were probably even chipmunks running around, or a lizard lying in the sun. But I couldn't see any of it. Everything was still, and being there helps your mind become still too. 

Enjoy the pics.  I hope that just for a moment, you can imagine being there, and enjoy the peacefulness and stillness that we need in our lives every once in a while. 

Hugs,

Rachel

PS... there are some other shots of the kids there.  Thanks for coming to visit us y'all!

Laura, sitting at the edge of the drop off.

See the boat in the water near the bottom of the picture? Yes, it's there. Look again.

Here it is "up close". Now, I have a super zoom camera, and this is as close as I could get to the boat. 

Hopefully this gives you a perspective of how deep and wide the canyon and river are at this point. 

(There are deeper sections of the canyon.)

And a few more just for fun. 

Ty, Ta, Ash - three buddies.

Boston, enjoying a nice cold root beer. 

Jonnie and Braelin in the "peek-a-boo" rock.

My cousin Kaitlyn stayed the weekend and went with us.  Fun to see you Kait!

Red Headed Angels

I thought about what to post today, what in my life is interesting enough to share right now? Which workouts we did this morning?  (Pilates for muffin tops and Kickboxing). The stress about how to pay the bills?  (I don't want to think about it much less write about it!)  Job interview yesterday? (Blah!) My cute kids and how adorable they are? (Every post could be about that!!)

But then I remembered, it's August 17th! And it just so happens that today is the birthday of not one - but TWO amazing red heads!!  So, this post is for them.

To my beautiful niece Jerusha on her 17th birthday - you are an amazingly talented artist with such a giving heart.  You look at things with such wonder and see beyond the color the eyes see to the color the heart sees. You find beauty and inspiration in the people around you as well as the world around you, and you have so much to give.  Your personality pops and your smile can't help but make others smile with you.  May the next year bring you happiness and ever closer to our Savior.  Happy Birthday!  (And I don't have ANY pics of you, so next time you come down..... lets go take some :)

Best buds!  Jaden is a miniature version of her mom. 

To my dear friend Tiffanie who I miss so much - Tiff is just one of those people that make you say "I want to be more like her when I grow up!" I prayed that Glen would marry an angel and he did.  Tiff, you have one of the most kind, thoughtful, and caring hearts I know.  Your strength of heart is exceeded only by your beauty and talent. I don't think you know still how much your phone calls and visits and hanging out with me helped me not to go crazy with PPD after Carolina was born. Your support and love have been so helpful over the years. If I had a tenth of the energy, compassion, devotion, consistency, and preparation that you have, I'd be so much better off! You are amazing and hold a special place in both mine and Ryan's hearts. Your kids are beautiful, and funny as well.  I'm glad Tali will always have his special Jaden friend.

I hope this year you will embrace your talent with photography and not only have fun with it but be confident enough to make some money with it because you certainly have the talent and ability for it!  I hope also that I'll be able to come up for a bit and visit, or that you'll be able to come down here. I truly do miss you.  Happy Birthday!

Lots of love to you all...

Rachel

Friday Fave

It's Friday, and I decided that I would post one of my favorite pics from each week on Friday. Now, the picture I wish I had to post, is one from last night. You see, we went to the county fair, and the kids all entered the ice cream eating contest.  Anyone who knows Ryan and I should not be surprised to hear that four of the kids won either first or second place in their age group on how fast they could down a bunch of ice cream.  Even little sweet, innocent Carolina -  my dainty princess - shoved those ice cream sandwiches in her mouth as fast as possible, and with ice cream dripping all over her face and hands, she stood up and won first place.

But alas, I forgot to grab my camera as we walked out the door. So... here is my Fave Friday pic.

It's of the monument at Mountain Meadows here in Southern Utah.  Not the most pleasant event to remember... but the field trip out there was a neat experience and I love that the feeling of the place came across in the photo.

Enjoy!

Family

Originally posted June 13, 2010

The photo is of Tyler with my brother Jason when he came down last to visit.  I sure have enjoyed the friends and family who’ve come, but I have to say one of the visits I’ve most enjoyed has been Jason, Eliza, and Eric the last time they came down. Maybe its just that they are the last to have come, maybe its something else. I can’t pinpoint exactly why, but it doesn’t matter does it?  I really enjoyed having them come.  The kids did too.  Jonnie hasn’t stopped talking about the “cycles” every time he hears something with an engine racing by. I hope they come back again soon, and I hope J is able to stop by again before he leaves for Costa Rica. 

Family is a precious thing though. I find myself in tears more often than not anytime I see a movie, hear a song, or anything else having to do with family.  Not always sad tears, more thoughtful and appreciative tears.  Sometimes they are sad though. 

Yesterday we spent time with the Kelly and Sheila Dutton and their family at their place on Kolob. Can we say beautiful?  The whole drive up was lush and green, with wildflowers and beautiful pastures mingled with red rock cliffs and layered sandstone formations. We wound in and out of Zion’s National Park on the way up to their pavilion near Kolob Reservoir, and marveled the whole way up at the beauty surrounding us. 

But the real beauty was seen once we arrived.

Sheila and Kelly had 12 children and their spouses all together to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. Nannette kept everyone in line and organized the entire affair, Daphne and her girls brought in a beautiful wedding cake, a near replica of their first. Camille, Myrna, Jamie, Diana, Brenda, Kelly Sue, Shaynie, Lora worked together seamlessly with Nannette preparing 28 dutch ovens full of cobbler, chicken, and potatoes. Ted, Willie, and Cecil kept briquettes hot, fires going, heaters lit, and had the whole pavilion arranged with chairs and tables for a crowd. Tom, Elliot and Stan rocked the babies. Kevin, Terry, and Steve took care of Great Grandma Dutton and Kevin setup for the slideshow celebrating Kelly and Sheila’s life. Roxie put together salads, and in general, everything was taken care of wonderfully. 

About a million children and grandchildren milled around, going in and out of the camp trailers setup, running around in the loft area, and generally keeping things interesting.  It didn’t matter whether it was my kid needing help going potty, dishing watermelon, or getting the right piece of cake, a baby tottering down the gravel slope, someone else needing another twinkie, the mud needing to be swept off the cement, or somebody else needing a hug... everyone jumped right up to make sure everything, and everyone, was taken care of. 

There was laughing, joking, and smiles aplenty. I don’t remember a cross word being said, an angry glance, or a frustrated look.  It was family. One big, happy, pleasant family working, laughing, and playing together.

When it was time for the slideshow, I just sat with tears streaming down my face as photos of young Sheila as a bride, and young Kelly as a father flashed on the screen. Their family grew bigger and bigger with every shot til all 13 children were numbered. Then the came the grandchildren. Kelly and Sheila know every single one, their birthday, their personality.

The harmony of the family was beautiful to behold. It was a day that my Dad only dreamed about. But they took his dreams, and made them a sweet reality.  It was family, and up there on that freezing cold mountain top with the wind blowing and the smoke from the fire billowing, that sense of family, of love, felt like home.

So a shout out to all of Sheila and Kelly’s family -- job well done. 

And a shout out to all of my family.  I love you all.  Please know that you are all important and special to me, and that you each have a place in my heart. 

Love,  Rachel

PS... here are a few pics of Jason I took while he was down here.  Good looking brother!! You can see a few more on my photography website. www.lifeholdingstill.com 

Family...

Who is your family?
Who is my family?

Are family the ones you share a past with? or those you share a future with?

Are family the ones who see you through thick and thin? or the ones who don't see you often enough to know whether you're thick or thin?

Are family the friends who know your family "skeletons" and love you anyway? or are skeletons the family and your friends just your friends?

Is family created through friendship and love? or is family created through birth and blood?
Are family ties the ones that hold you together? or are family ties the shoelaces that won't stay tied?

Is family found along the path of life? A sister here, a brother there, as though you knew them all along? Or are they the ones who turn you around to realize your family is behind you, and your paths in life will always be connected?

Is a sibling the one who understands all your fears, shares your laughter, and tears, and is there by your side? or is a sibling just a sibling, because they are, they always will be. And whether fears and tears come, whether there's laughter or song, they are your brother, your sister, and they're there all along?

How much do you miss them? And do they miss you? Do you know what you're missing? And do they know you? Does it matter at all, they don't know your kids name? Just as long as the blood runs through both of your veins?

If the invitations to party, to play, and to come, come seldom, if ever, does that change the name? Are the invites what matters, though from friends they surround? If the invites don't matter, do they want you around?

If acceptance is futile, is sporadic, or nil - if acceptance is vital, will friendship be there still? If family is accepting, does it erase all that's ill? Correct all that's missing? or is it a need you yourself can fill?

Family is six letters. Six letters, and yet, they're the best part of life, or - have you even met?

We say "reconnect" but whence does it come? If love was always on the tip of your tongue, is it really re= connecting, if it was there all along?

Random thoughts and minds musings have nothing but fluff. 

So I'll go back to sleep now, I think I've thunk, enough.

Mother

A mother’s love, it knows no bounds
And yet it’s selfish in its rounds
A hug, a kiss, upon the cheek
A palm apress the forehead, weak.

Each day she toils for her brood
She works and struggles, if only they knew
Her heart she gives with worries worn
Her life is riddled, wounds open, torn.

And yet a joy and peace prevails
Her struggles, sorrows, and travails
Are yes, a labor, long of life
But with them comes her breath of life.

She hurts and yet, there is no pain
When once they succeed, joy doth reign.
Her children fill her heart sincere
With love and gratitude that she’s here.

Her job is light, her step is quick
When their arms fling around her neck
She smiles and bright the sunshine rays
When their smiles lighten up her days.

She makes mistakes, she has regrets
Her love is not perfection yet
But while she labors, while they grow
Endeavors fruits will not yet show.

When they embrace the grownups’ land
When the enchantress finds her man
When they become fresh parents new
When they realize their mistakes anew

Appreciation grows within their breast
Their hearts may not be put arest
But as the seeds of understanding lie
Beneath the shadows of their life

They’ll grow in love and gratitude
And temperance fan their hardened mood
They’ll one day sit and watch anew
Their memories of her now reviewed

Will see the efforts, some in vain
Will see her life, see past the pain
Her heart may yet be beating still
Or ‘haps she stands hid by the veil.

Her tears now stream down cheek and cheek
Her joy filled heart no longer sinks
Her memories of those toil worn days
‘Haps enveloped with understanding’s rays.

And as the new babe b’gins to grow
From tooth to tooth, then to lasso
Mistakes afresh they too will strew
And ample tears, frustration through

Their paths will be one circling round
Their feet will walk a trampled ground
Of parents near and parents far
All trying their best, all baring their hearts

And in the softened time worn frame
Where love entwined with children reign
The babe will reap the love unbound
Of parents’ love, perfection unfound.

But at the Master’s piercen feet
They’ll all be met, they all will greet
Aft long review of each their lives
Their judgements, efforts, and their strifes.

The Saviors love and grace unbound
Will encircle them around
They praise and thank, humility shown
Their Savior while knelt at His throne.

Fresh Basil

Originally posted March 25, 2010

If you’ve never eaten fresh basil and don’t already know the sensuous aromatic flavor those tender green leaves hold - let me be the one to tell you it is delicious. 

My sister Danielle used to say it was “food of the Gods”. And every time I eat it, I think of her - and that she is right.  It is heavenly. Few things can hold up to the simple yet ethereal combination of toasted sourdough bread with a thin layer of cream cheese, fresh basil leaves, and sliced tomatoes - topped with a sprinkle of sea salt and freshly ground peppercorns.   If you have a better cheese than cream cheese -- by all means substitute that instead. 

Sandwiches aside, basil holds so many memories for me. Strange that a green leaf with a decadent aroma can be nearly as comforting as chocolate... but it is. It reminds me of cooking with friends, of eating meals with a huge extended family, of working side by side, and of learning.  And even though there are times when learning is painful, the work was stressful, relationships with extended family and friends are strained... basil brings me to a happy place. 

It also reminds me of going to the opera with Danielle. Walking side by side with my graceful, tall, and beautiful sister. Proud that she would invite me to go with her.  My heart was filled because she chose me as a friend to spend her season ticket with. Though the opera should have been a memory in itself, I don’t even remember the name of the opera we attended. I do remember the opening chorus of mens voices piercing my soul, but it is the stillness of the moment walking up main street by her side that I remember.

And that memory, is part of why basil is so sweet.

BTW... Jonnie Bear is the one in the picture.  It has nothing to do with this blog entry -- but since I’ve skipped for the past year I thought you might like to see what he looks like now. 

Hi to all of you! I thought I'd forward you this email I sent to Ry a couple weeks after we moved in to our new house. It sort of lets you know what we're up to and also why I am so bad at staying in touch. I know some of you can relate ... and some of you will shake your heads ... but from our new (old) house in Hurricane if you listen closely enough you'll hear our little voices shouting "Hi!" to all of you! It feels like home which is so very nice. We hope you all will come visit us anytime you are able, and thanks for all your love and friendship (I promise it won't be this hectic when you come -- okay I can't promise that but at least we'll try to keep it to a low roar :)

Rachel Jessop

Begin forwarded message:

> > Well, we got through the morning with family time (reading about the
> > exodus), boys and Mercy off to school, we finally got one toilet
> > working but the other royal throne is still out of order, no time to
> > go get a plunger though so we close the door and I go in to shower,
> > remember I have a guy coming to give us a bid on insulation so I
> > don't get in the shower, no time. Insulation guy knocks on the door
> > as I'm still pulling on my pants so I walk him through the house and
> > show him the three doors to access the attic walk around outside and
> > see if there is anyway we can access the top part of the attic (no
> > unless we drill a hole and snake a hose up to blow some insulation
> > in), he leaves, I get the rest of the tags pulled off my jeans (new
> > MOM pants complete with high waist but at least no elastic waist
> > band!) walk out to get some grapes for the kids off the vines
> > growing along the backfence, spend 15 minutes clipping back the
> > grapes because they really are getting out of control and filling a
> > big bowl full of the grapes and then Kelly and Sheila Dutton show up
> > to fix the dishwasher. Surprise! We have SUCH fabulous neighbors
> > but I had NO idea they were coming. Still haven't got in the shower
> > or brushed my teeth. They are here a few minutes and the landscape
> > guy shows up (I thought he was coming NEXT friday!) to bid the
> > synthetic grass (can you say PRICEY but NICEY!) So I'm trying to
> > call you so you can talk to Kelly and tell him what's up with the
> > dishwasher, hold Jonnie who cried if I put him down, get the kids
> > grapes washed, be chatty with Sheila, answer the door and explain
> > what I want to the landscape guy, keep the kids out of the water
> > I've turned on to water my fruit trees and still I haven't combed my
> > hair. Meanwhile I get the garbage emptied before it overflows, which
> > leaves a trail of ?milk? spilled which Sheila points out. Jonnie
> > still has a messy shirt on from the breakfast I fed him earlier and
> > has now pooped his duds so I change Jonnie, pull of his shirt, and
> > try to get him distracted so I can clean up the spilt milk. About
> > now would be the right time for Lina to go to school since it's
> > early day Friday -- but I am not remembering this and therefore she
> > is not on her way to school. Well, Kelly needs to go downstairs
> > which leaves Sheila with nothing to do in between him yelling up to
> > her to flip the breakers on and off so she is being chatty again,
> > but I can't chat because the landscape guy wants me to sit down and
> > go over the bid with him. So we sit on the porch which has a pile of
> > stuff left in the corner because I swept it up this morning but
> > didn't get it into a dustpan before everyone started showing up.
> > Daisy and Braelin are in the side yard yelling at each other because
> > why??? I don't know. I apologize for the yelling, tell them to be
> > quiet, set Jonnie down on the porch to play and listen to the
> > landscape guy tell us that it will cost us a fortune and so we
> > should do rocks instead, freak out because I have seven kids, and
> > then again say, yes lets do big rocks and mulch and a little bit of
> > grass. Okay - but now Jonnie is crawling down the front steps and so
> > the other landscape guy is trying to catch him for me before he
> > falls and so I've got to get him. The landscape guys leave so I go
> > back in to Sheila and Kelly and try to wash a few more grapes to
> > send home with them. Before I can wash any more grapes I've got to
> > find a handtowel that is clean and some countertop space that is
> > cleared off to put them on. ( Oh a lovely dishwasher will be so
> > nice!) So I start putting away the dishes that Tali washed last
> > night under threat of missing school and clear off enough
> > counterspace to wash the grapes (I don't have much counterspace to
> > begin with!) after I find a clean handtowel. Later I realize the
> > handtowels were in the right drawer all along, I was just looking in
> > the wrong drawer. So I still don't have my hair combed, my teeth
> > brushed, nor have I taken a shower, but I do have a presentable
> > outfit on at least. I sweep up the piles in the house and on the
> > porch and put up the baby gates so Jonnie doesn't crawl off the
> > porch or up the stairs again, and Kelly gets the dishwasher working
> > as I try to put away the oatmeal the kids left out on the counter,
> > and generally spruce up the rest of the kitchen. Fabulous!! I am so
> > excited the dishwasher is working!! Awesome, way cool! But Jonnie is
> > fussy because he needs a bottle and I really need to get that made,
> > so I do while they tuck the dishwasher back away and then I get
> > Jonnie in the stroller sleeping while Kelly cleans up his tools and
> > give Sheila the grapes and tell them thank you so much and turn
> > around to get Carolina some lunch after they walk out the door. But
> > I get distracted because Daisy is upset that she doesn't get to do
> > what Carolina is doing and is being tormentuous now (is that a word?
> > It describes her sometimes!), and Jonnie just got woken up by Brae,
> > but I've got to get the food in the oven for long enough to get it
> > warm before we head out the door and I'm running out of time and I
> > really need a drink so I rinse out the pitcher and get some fresh
> > water and lemons and ice in it since the water from the tap is
> > probably 70 degrees. So, finally we heat the corndogs for about 15
> > minutes to little of time before we REALLY need to go because
> > Carolina is already supposed to be at school so we throw everyone in
> > the van and I look at the gas guage and it's a good thing the school
> > is just a short distance away because I can only drive 8 more miles
> > -- ooops now it's seven. So we get to school and I drop Carolina off
> > and come home but the rocks are so hot that Braelin needs to be
> > carried but I can't carry him and Jonnie and the uneaten corndogs we
> > need to finish cooking and so he starts walking on the hot rocks
> > anyway and sits down and screams in the driveway until I come get
> > him while Daisy is NOT getting out of the van but has jumped up to
> > the front seats and started rifling through everything including the
> > pocketknife case WHY is there a knife case in the van and where did
> > it come from I have no idea, but anyway the pocketknife case (which
> > she already KNOWS is a knife case because when it is empty she says
> > "Where is the knife that goes in here?" And I say - gone because
> > you are getting into stuff you aren't supposed to now get out of the
> > van, but she doesn't have shoes on either because we hurried when we
> > left and so I am carrying both of them into the house and hoping
> > that Jonnie didn't make it anywhere he shouldn't be yet -- and
> > hoping that he isn't eating the two cockroaches that I noticed in
> > front of the washer dying in the soap that got spilled and so now we
> > are all in the house and I get Jonnie away from the laundry area
> > (gotta call the pest control people back again I guess) and throw
> > the corndogs back into the oven but miss on one of them and it
> > bounces off the sheet pan and gets stuck and the back of the oven
> > burning but I don't realize this until I can smell it of course. By
> > then we are already untangling Daisy and Braelin again who are
> > fighting about anything and nothing all at once. Finally we get all
> > the kids out on the porch and I've grabbed the rest of the food for
> > the baby and the now warm corndogs including the one I fished from
> > the back of the oven and given them to Daisy and Brae and promise
> > we'll put together their cardboard playhouse I bought yesterday at
> > Costco as soon as I feed Jonnie (who still doesn't have a clean
> > shirt on but who cares if he is naked except a pair of shorts right?
> > At least I dug the boogers out of his nose even though he screamed
> > at me for doing it.) Okay - so now Jonnie is fed and the baby gate
> > is up and the fans are whirling and I have gotten the house put
> > together and Daisy keeps on saying "I LOVE IT!" (Best $20 I've spent
> > for a long time!) and she is so excited that I let her call you.
> > Meanwhile, Braelin is being a typical boy and decides --doors???
> > What are those for? I'd rather keep going in and out of the
> > windows, so he does. Pretty soon I see a bike zoom down the street
> > with an elementary school kid on it and think -- what???? Why are
> > there kids coming home so early? AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!! it is early
> > Friday and I forgot to take Carolina EARLY! No wonder there weren't
> > any other mom's dropping their kindergarteners off at school while I
> > was there! I just thought I was a little late! So the kids come home
> > and they are all happy
> > except for Tyler who saw the burnt corndog stick and is crying
> > because he can't eat a corndog for snack instead of grapes and
> > carrots and crackers and we are all looking forward to seeing you on
> > Sunday for a couple days :)
> >
> > Lots of love,
> >
> > Rachel
> >
> > PS ... Mercy says please bring her bike! PSS ... Please work on
> > your resume so we can start finding you a job down here!! Love you!
> > Rachel
>

Red Milk, and Rude!

Originally posted April 1, 2009

The thing with having a toddler who can say anything and everything, speak in paragraphs, tell jokes, and repeat scenes from movies he hasn’t seen for weeks, is that he never shuts up. For all his big vocabulary, the phrase “It’s time to be quiet” somehow escapes his understanding. 

“I want some red milk!” has been one of the sentences I’ve heard most today.... that along with “Mom - she’s being rude, rude, rude!!” 

I’ll explain. The chili peppers (my children) and I are traveling. A friend left half a gallon of red Tampico for us. Ever since then, Braelin has been asking for the “red milk”. And since I’m trying to keep him somewhat quiet (ha ha ha!!!) at the hotel we are staying at, I keep giving in and letting him have a few more sips. End result?  Barf. Red barf. All over the tile. And he insisted on cleaning it up himself so it is now smeared ALL over the tile. At least it’s not on the carpet - and hey -- he wants to clean?  My kid? Wants to clean?  He must have a gene none of the rest of them picked up because this is NOT normal for my kids. My kids are the ones who get “bathroom-itis” every time they have chores to do.  You know -- the sudden urge to sit for a long time in the bathroom hoping someone else gets the cleaning done before they get out?  Well, it’s a named  and frequently contracted disease at our house. 

So anyway, now you know about the red milk. Want to hear who is being “rude?” 

Of course, not many of you have 7 children to go on long car trips with, but I’m sure most of you have at least one. So, multiply that to get 7 kids in the car with all of the fun that goes with it. 7 times the potty breaks, 7 times the “are we there yets?”, 7 times the kids who just don’t like to be cooped up in a carseat! 7 times the running around when we do get to where ever it is we are going and stop.

Thankfully - my kids are actually really good in the car. They’re used to traveling, but Braelin with his enormous not even two year old vocabulary has said “Mom, she’s being rude, rude, rude!!!” far too many times for me to count today.  (She being Daisy - bet you couldn’t have guessed that!) The day ended with him screaming the whole way through Zion’s National Park.  Good thing I was still smiling and having a fun time.  It’s really been a great day with lots of good memories too.  I’ll tell you more about those in another entry. 

So, wow, it’s been a long time since I wrote.  Here’s a quick run down of what’s been happening with us.... 

I am feeling better.  Much better.  Good meds help :) Lots of sunshine and avoiding stress is critical to daily function but I AM functioning. I get up and dressed and can interact great with my peppers. 

I am still NOT up to crowds. Social anxiety still very high, which means homeshows are out of the question. 

I eat chocolate.  Lots of it, turns out. But since I found Healthy Chocolate -- it’s all good.

We are selling our house -- or at least trying to. We had a buyer, but that didn’t work out -- so if you know anyone who wants a cute house with a huge yard in Roosevelt -- send them my way :)  Ryan will be manning an open house this weekend!

We found a house in Hurricane, UT that we LOVE. Very cute, old historic home with a fabulous yard. I am so ready for a warm winter!  Here are some pictures  Of course - we sort of need to sell the house in Roosevelt before we buy this one.  “Thy will be done.”

Meanwhile, I could not stay at home trying to keep it clean with the four little ones at home. I was going crazy, and I’m already crazy enough! So, the kids and I moved down here to Southern Utah for the time being. We are here there and everywhere, thanks to a kind brother, aunt, and sister who have let us stay in condos, guest houses, and way cheap hotel rates.  More stories to come ....